23 miles of mountains and undulating hills, the perfect training run for what I know will be my biggest feat yet, the North Face Endurance Challenge 50k in the Marin Headlands.
~ The clouds roll over the hills with a blanketing obscurity that, to the world outside, would appear forbidding and threatening. I understand it better. There is beauty beneath that unsettling whispered whiteness. The blanket there to keep out the unwanted and challenge only the wanderers and the curious of heart to step in. I want in so I take to the trails. It is a grueling 3,500 feet of climbing in six short miles. I reach the summit and continue my run between that pillowed whiteness and ever alive, but silently still, earthen forest floor. It feels as though I am warped in time and space. No view out, only the trail that lies ahead. The clouds around me scream with chaos and winds rush with violent rage up the sloping crags. Pellets of rain patter my skin and dampen my clothes. A shivering cold pulses through my veins and my fingers slowly turn white and numb. I curl my fingers into a cup and with a deep breath in, I slowly exhale the warm air from my lungs out, trying to regain some sensation. There is no feeling yet. I have no choice but to continue on. I pass relics of a lost world. A train used to traverse the mountain side in the very early 1900’s but for only a couple of decades. These wet slopes in the winter time often gave way, releasing a slump earth flow of mud and rock. Man can’t win over the forces of her very mother, nature. A quick loop around the summit and it was a dodging plunge back down to the base, a scramble with quick, methodic steps over roots and rocks. I finally reach a smooth path ahead, which allows me a quick glance up and I notice I’ve already made it about 2/3 of the way down the mountain. The vantage from down below is quite contrasting and the steep slopes of the ridge look foreign and untouchable. It is calmer down here. The sun peaks through a break in the clouds and that bit of light sends a wave of warmth with it. No violent winds and pelleting rain. The peaceful calming silence brings with it so much noise. The deciduous trees around me are naked and their lost leaves litter the ground. I hear my every footstep. The leaves crunch beneath my feet like a crackling fire. The birds call aloud in melodic beats and for a minute, I feel as though I can understand them. I’m awake, energized, and listening, to my body and my surroundings. 11 more miles to go…. And more to discover, that I know.
I hear the words of Edward Abbey ringing in my ears… I am “… hoping to learn something from it, to discover the significance in its form, to make a connection through its life with whatever falls beyond.”
Where can I find the strength? How long can I endure?! The answer lies within the significance of that run, the mountain, those trails. Pushing beyond the limits...