A tribute to earth's darkest hours.. as we welcome the light of a new year.
Each day, the sun is slowly lost to the horizon. This cyclic retreat advances a mysterious shadow that blankets everything it touches. Its thick and heavy and suffocates everything breathing. It creeps in, slowly inching its way across the pavement and up the exterior of homes and apartment buildings. It flickers through the trees, fighting with the light until it finally wins and paints the world black.
For some, the state of Darkness evokes fear; a fear of the unknown, of cold confinement. For others, it evokes mystery. An intrigue that beckons understanding.
I feared darkness when it nestled itself deep within my being. I feared it when it enveloped the sky. I feared it because I didn't understand it. A world within a world that was unfamiliar, cognizant and dispirited at the same time. I've written of experiences where I've truly felt darkness inside of me. That state of darkness allowed me to learn and grow and discover a part of myself that I now will never let go. But a sleepy world swathed in black has always been unfamiliar and mysterious. It's inauspicious presence unsettles the senses in a paralyzing grip. The only escape from its hold being the promise of a rising dawn. To confront the darkness...
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My breath filled the space in front of my eyes with plumes of whiteness and the light from my headlamp scattered significantly as it penetrated the fogginess... I was mystified by the world surrounding me. Sealed inside a vacuum of warped and blurred walls, there existed a humming silence. My vision dampened...
I meandered my way through groves of eucalyptus and cypress, distinguishable only by their colored and textured trunks, and only when my feet nearly had me running into them. I was left to trust my feet on the ground and though my connection to the earth's surface was strong, I felt a lack of gravity as I easily maneuvered the dynamic terrain, switching from roots and rocks to pillowed sand as I neared the coast. I opened up, let go, and settled into my stride with an almost intuitive awareness.
The humming silence broke as I neared the water, waves crashing in with such a force, it sounded as if the world was caving in on itself. I continued along the undulating coastline, absorbing the unbounded chaos as the water raced to shore. With no visual distractions, I was able to envision the lip of the wave curl and bend and crash as foaming whitewater. I saw it clearly and lucidly.
A quick right hand turn positioned the shoreline at my rear and a cool breeze whisked me from behind. As I bounded inland, the sound of the waves diminished. The land seemed to continue in a sinuous motion until I eventually found myself in that familiar thicket of timber. The trees cracked and cooed in the wind. I used to feel uneasy at the sound of their chatter but having met these trees before, I understood their non-threatening language.
The air was infused with the sweet scent of mint and pine. The peaceful aroma saturated my pores, sparking an almost immediate rejuvenation of mind and spirit. I ran in quiet contemplation- sensing, observing, being.
Occasionally, I'd catch a sparkling set of eyes on an enigmatic shadow off into the distance. This time, a call from a raven perched on a tree above warned me of the company that lie ahead... the coyote stood still and sanguine, non-threatening, remarkably enchanting.
The coyote is symbolic of the magic in life and creation. For some, it is associated with the dark side and bad omens. But the coyote can remind us of quite the opposite, with its uncanny resourcefulness and ability to survive. He represents the darkness in a different way, a dark reminder of the light that can come when you experience the feared and unexpected more fully.
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The world of darkness is alive, vibrant and healing.