Painting by Nancy I. Foster. This painting captures the essence of 'Awakening,' inspired by an evening run through the Presidio, SF, CA.
The southward facing slope was dark and cool, with an inclination so steep that the light seemed to hit the summit of the climb tangentially. The sun’s rays stretched out towards the sky with definite purpose of reaching infinity.. or so it seemed. No light would touch the path in front of me. I was feeling a bit anxious. The summit was my destination but there seemed to be so much distance my tired legs had to cover and there was an overwhelming fatigue surging through me. I started to question my ability and I almost feared each next step. I wasn’t certain the summit was mine. I nearly stopped dead in my tracks from the feelings of doubt and defeat.
Really, my tiredness was out of proportion. Exploited and exposed and recognized in overreaction. I thought of excuses, reasons why I was tired, why I didn't need to continue.
But then I remembered something very powerful and proceeded to ask myself a few simple questions. ‘Can I dis-identify with the pain and tiredness I am feeling?’ ‘Can I stay in the present?’ 'If I do, how will I feel? How will my body, or my mind, react?'
I allowed myself to experience that ‘feeling’ of exhaustion. Experiencing it, I recognized its formlessness within me. With no form, it didn’t exist. My energy shifted.
With a new sense of strength and a bit of urgency, I pounded out the last of the climb. I no longer dreaded the distance and the summit happened upon me in what felt like seconds. Just as I peaked, I felt the sun warm my skin. The light bounced in front of me while my eyes adjusted and regained focus from the quick shift in the visible spectrum. The thick groves of eucalyptus and cypress danced in the breeze and the light glimmered transiently between the trees branches. Long dark shadows undulated along the path in front of me. Everything appeared vibrant. The noises, strikingly loud. I could hear the wind rush past every follicle of hair extending from my ears. My breath danced in rhythm with my steps and the birds were singing my name.
I felt awake. Alive. Content. At ease... everything as effortless as could be. That is the journey of AWAKENING.